Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she was so not down for the gang bang
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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