areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
