I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
