My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
