So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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