I'm eating all of the evidence.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
