call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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