she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize