Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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