There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She's JV to your varsity
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
