Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
