doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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