i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
