Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
