did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
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I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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