This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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