so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
