If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I had to cum in my sink.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
