You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
