? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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