you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
And then he peed in my hair
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
