drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
this boner is exhausting
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
