what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
barbara walters just said penis...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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