He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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