He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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