By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
