the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
