Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
