About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
