I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
