he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
