Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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