You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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