now i know why i became what i already was.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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