My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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