I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
well most of my day revolves around power hour
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
