We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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