Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
