i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
