He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
