I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
