I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
