How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
