I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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