i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
