hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
