i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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