woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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