you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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