3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
