at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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