it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
