did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
