If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
