we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
