Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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