3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if you like me you must not know who I am
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
