I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
