I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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