if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize