I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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