Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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