My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
