I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize