To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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