Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
