just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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