I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize