Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
