this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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